Top 5 Relationship Killers To Avoid (What To Focus On Instead)

Hi,

Welcome to this post on the relationship killers to avoid and what instead to focus on. 

We have all witnessed relationships being made and broken all around us. It does make one apprehensive about one's own relationships. We instinctively try to protect what we cherish the most.

However, we must realize that there are things we might be doing that are destroying the beauty in our relationship. Truly, in most cases these are our own behavioral traits—that we must take notice and avoid consciously.


relationships what to avoid

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

No 1. Relationship Killers To Avoid:

Possessiveness

No one likes to be made to be felt like that someone else owns them; that they belong to someone else. Everyone wants his or her own freedom. Especially in relationships, people like to be liked and loved for who they are and find it uncomfortable when they feel like being possessed.

Although, It is good to be a little bit possessive about your partner, but overdoing it leads to behaviors which show that you treat the other person as an object and that, for sure, only backfires. Couple of examples are: you shouldn’t try to get them by your side all the time: everyone has their own life, you shouldn’t be much concerned about them spending time with others: show your trust and confidence in them and in their life.

Instead, what is best to do is to give them your full attention when they need/ask for it and let them be on their own at other times.

No 2. Relationship Killers To Avoid: 

Imposing Restrictions

Often, in a relationship, we tend to expect the other person to act in the way we think is the right way for them to act. We expect our own ways with almost everybody we come in contact with. Expecting others to avoid doing certain things they like and do certain things they detest just to get our way with them will never work for any kind of relationship.

This is restrictive behavior. You should put yourself in their shoes before putting so much expectations on them. Often time, the other person will avoid showing disagreement towards your ways because of their fear of losing the relationship with you but if this behavior is ignored continually, it will break the relationship making both persons feel bad for themselves.

Instead, what works best is an open communication about each other's expectations and behaviors. Doing this will also build more trust and a deeper, more loving connection.

No 3. Relationship Killers To Avoid: 

Asking Them To Change

Everyone is unique and has been brought up in a different environment, have their own beliefs and faiths and hence a completely different personality than yours. You can't expect others to like your ways and go along with you in everything you believe and do.

Often times, we just assume that the other person will follow our way just because we love them! This kind of thinking has no basis in reality and it only leads one into delusions about their partners and the relationship. Even if your partner is willing to change, it will be unacceptable to them as well as you in the long run. Ask yourself, don't you actually love them for who they are?

Instead of asking them to change, learn to accept them as they are, and learn to look for the great things about them in their ways. You will fall in love over and over again with them. That is so Beautiful!

No 4. Relationship Killers To Avoid: 

Begin Complacent

Every relationship demands unconsciously a constant effort towards its maintenance. When people start taking the relationship and the other person for granted, things start to go a downward spiral. Especially so happens when you become complacent about the small daily things not just the things like anniversaries or birthdays.

A relationship comes with certain obligations. We need to do a few special things everyday keeping the interest of the other person in mind.  You cannot let your relationship grow all by itself; it won’t.

Instead of being complacent, start being proactive in listening to them and trying to understand what they have been trying to communicate with you mostly non-verbally. Go out of your way to try to understand them better, you will be able to strengthen the relationship so much better.

No 5. Relationship Killers To Avoid: 

Sense of Closeness Competition

Even in a strong relationship, there are episodes of skepticism and lack of trust from both the persons. You must understand and clearly communicate with your partner what level of intimacy you share only with your partner and your other relationships are different than this one with your partner. This will prevent creeping of skepticism in the mind of your partner.

Maintain your closeness with your partner to the level it is communicated and understood between you two. Communicate your expectations on this matter clearly to your partner and get their feedback and accept their inputs and be willing to accommodate any differences they prefer.

Instead of trying to win the closeness of your partner over their other relationships, try to be respectful of their other relationships and adjust your expectations. This works best when accompanied with a clear communication with your partner.

In Addition, Remember to Practice These 5 Relationship Strengthening Tips: 

  1. First Relationship Maker Tip: Always remind yourself why you fell in love with the other person. Remind yourself of their good qualities and focus on those qualities. Remember, the good times and the tough times you have had together and use those to keep your relationship strong. However if your memories are full of bad images then the best you can do is to end the relationship and move on.
  2. Second Relationship Maker Tip: Trying to spend more time together outside the house. People come close and bond differently in social and public situations. This will help bring another dimension into your relationship and you will find another aspect of your partner which you might find interesting and something to talk about and build your relationship stronger over.
  3. Third Relationship Maker Tip: Be communicate to your partner on a daily basis why you love them and that you appreciate their presence in your life. You should be ready to complement your partner on a daily basis. This will not only make them feel good and closer to you but it will also create a happy routine which brings joy to your days.
  4. Fourth Relationship Maker Tip: Find more and more activities which you both can enjoy together on a weekly basis. You can look for activities like playing games, going on long drives, taking a walk in the nearby garden or by the lake side. Constantly bonding with each other, specially over activities which are fun and bring the enjoying self out in both of you will create a very deep level of intimacy and connection between you two.
  5. Fifth Relationship Maker Tip: Create a project which you both can work on together. For example, planning a vacation, or how to make more money will help you to also connect your future visions and thereby strengthen the relationship. However, be mindful of the opinions and inputs of your partner and don't let any disagreement lead to anything that wil damage your relationship.

Consider buying and reading these two books I have listed below:

Get This Book: "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts". 

Simple Ideas, Lasting Love!

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

Click here or on the "Buy on Amazon" button (Affiliate Link)

Get This Book: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". 

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!

Click here or on the "Buy on Amazon" button (Affiliate Link)

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts and I would be happy to include any inputs.

Get the books through the "Buy on Amazon" links.

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